It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull
Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far far away
I can't understand
Everything is blue
Can you hear me out there?
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me
I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the moves it makes
But it gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear, make it disappear
Anyone out there hear me now?
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
Kiss my lips
and maybe you can take me to your world for now
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?
I hope I will
OLIVIA inspi' REIRA (Trapnest)
WINTER SLEEP
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Pls read this to learn about the art of delegation. Delegation is good. Pls dun keep all the responsibilities to yourself, if not i will come and slap you. Just kidding. I act violent only. Haha. Sayang.
Big muacks, and pls pls pls be good to yourself. SLP EARLIER. Dun tell me 3 hours of slp is good enuff for you. Pls rest so that you will feel refreshed and be lost in that world called dreamland. We heart you k?
bboying
Wednesday, August 22, 2007 ( 9:23 PM )
Break Dancing, Canon in D Juxtapose of Asian + Western Music
2nd Part of Video
It's interesting to see a creative and artistic fusion of east meets west. Koreans have long embraced the western hip hop culture and it's been part of their culture and lifestyle ever since America "inflitrated" South Korea, when North Korea attacked South Korea. Most Singaporeans view breakdancing as a form of recreation or a means to show off their newfound talent (yes, I'm sure there are people who love breakdancing out of pure passion and interest).
On a side note, I enjoy watching people dance esp when it's a fantastic hip hop dance item. Popping is very interesting, it's amusing and fascinating to observe how dancers coordinate their every single movement to imitate the robotic, jerkish actions of a robot. (ya, jermyn, sonique flow rocks.) Apart from the dance, I am actually atonished at the juxtapose of music from the Gu Zhen, DJ mixing and beatbox. Each form of instrument is unique in its own way, the chinese classics, the indispensable dj & mixer at the club and totally awesome rhythmic beatbox for the bboys. The way these 3 genres come together, is something refreshing to the ears. Bboying to a graceful and bassy Canon in D is definitely worth 2 thumbs up from me.
Random mussings
Sunday, August 19, 2007 ( 11:53 PM )
Random Mussings
I bet you wld find this picture vaguely/alarmingly familiar, if you're a NTU student.
During the first week of the sch term, I was washing my hands at the basin and when I peered into the mirror to check out my face, I saw this humongous cockroach perched on the surface of the wall opposite the basin. Freaked out, I hurriedly left the toilet and thought to myself, eee, why NTU cleaners never do a good job in cleaning the toilets, the kaka come and become the permanent resident of the toilet. I tot to myself, "Standard of hygiene dropped during the holidays. Tsk tsk."
Little did I realise that, It's actually a DECAL! Kenna conned. I was thinking why lemme see the image of a kaka when I'm looking at myself in the mirror. So gross, the person who designed the decal no taste, choose kaka. I'm not one who will scream at the mere sight of a cockroach. I still have a tolerance limit, as long as the cockroach dun crawl up any single inch of my body, I wldn't react violently.
But, I think getting us familiarised to the sight of cockroach during our frequent visits to the loo, really desensitized me to a point whereby I didn't even flinch when I was at near proximity with one recently. I was in one of the toilets, happily combing my hair before lecture started and then suddenly the girl behind me, tapped my shoulder and pointed to my leg. One freaking frantic cockroach was approaching my toes and I just shifted my leg away from the cockroach and resumed combing my hair, like nothing big happened, while the frantic pest ran up and down the floor beneath the basin.
But I wldn't adopt the same attitude if a HUGE cockroach crawled its way into my room. I would feel threatened at the mere sight and thought of it climbing and dirty-fying my bedsheets that I would run into my parents room and summon mom or dad to kill/whack it repeatedly with the broomstick, until it faints or its leg come off, den proceed to throw it out of the window with a tissue paper. Throw into the ground floor's garden. Let the aunty who mends the garden make noise lah, since she always wakes me up with her loud voice early in the morning.
I dun care, a cockroach must be eliminated if it enters the sacred boundaries of my bedroom. I was so frantic once cos I was greeted by the sight of a HUGE cockroach when I looked down from my chair in front of the computer. Not wanting to wake my parents, I thought I would be brave and kill it by dropping the Engineering Math textbook on it. But everytime when I was about to drop the book, the cockroach ran away and I squirmed at the thought of having a flattened, squashed, badly disfigured cockroach sticking to the textbook. Ran into my parents' room and called daddy to wake up and get rid of the cockroach. Pathetic Me.
(digress digest 1: my tuition kid can't spell cockroach during his recent spelling test.)
(digress digest 2: regretted buying the charles and keith shoe on a whimpage. Cos now charles and keith got storewide 30% sale! 30% SALE LEHZ. wah piangz. Heart pain, pocket pain. I was practically screaming into jing jing's ear when we walked by city hall link, where I was bombarded several times by the word SALE. The temptation that starts with S...ALE. Everywhere sale, told jing jing, you must stop me from running into any of the shops and tell me not to buy anything. Well, we made it out of city hall link safe and sound, without any shopping done.)
gratitude
Thursday, August 16, 2007 ( 10:46 PM )
Hmm.. Let's practise the attitude of thanksgiving. Being happy is to start counting the little blessings everyday.
I managed to hitch a ride from boss today. Haha, even though we were late for lessons, I really appreciated the kind act. Saved me from being squeezed on the bus and mrt with everybody. Thanks Boss. Pai sei, forgot about your breakfast. Next time lah. OH, and thanks for always being my aunt agony. Letting me yak yak yak. Appreciated that, even though you wanted to slp oredi.
Wanna say thank you to Liao Yong Xin, bcos his sms actually cheered me up when I was feeling uber crappy. Thanks for being so kpo ahem, concerned that you smsed me funny messages like "为什么不要理你? 要敢敢做个开心人,如果还是不行, 可以想我 (just joking)。" Thanks ah, I really cheered up a bit when you said that, even though I know you didn't mean it that way. In fact, I laughed hysterically. Laughter is the best way to beat the blues.
Thank you Eugene, cos he actually bought imitation Donut Factory's donuts to sch today and specially offered moody me the donuts first, giving me the privilege to choose the donuts first. Actually, I was really tempted to take the rainbow donut but ended up taking the ugliest donut in the end. But I had the first and the last donut, my stomach's happy lah, no complaints sir. おなかが一杯! Well, miss moody ain't moody anymore. うれしい!ありがとう、ユジンさん. A happy girl is one who ate 2 imitation Donut Factory's donuts.
Thanks to everybody else who showed concern in any single way. There you go, this is my little way of expressing my gratitude. I may appear like I dun really give a damn about the stuff you guys say/do to me, but actually, I'm touched deep down inside. Just probably a little too proud to admit that I'm touched face-to-face. Thanks everybody!
=) grins
crap
Wednesday, August 15, 2007 ( 8:42 PM )
I feel crappy right now. Haven't felt like this for ages.
The tussle of my heartstrings..to care or not to care.
Crap, I wish I knew the answer to everything and had control over every situation.
It sucks to be this vulnerable and be unable to do a single thing except accepting the facts.
I dunno why lately I've been experiencing scares of different sorts.
First, I had my first scare when I felt pain in my upper tooth 1 week back. It was sensitive to cold and hot food and when I touched it, it sort of hurt. Wondering whether it was a sensitive tooth (dentine exposed due to receeding gums) or it was due to cavities (dentine exposed due to acidic erosion of the enamel).
Had to go to the dentist today and I spent like $150 filling cavities. Jia lat, haven't visited the dentist for a few years and this is the lump sum that I have to pay him. The dentist pointed out to me that I have cavities in both of my lower wisdom teeth, and I had the option to puck them out surgically or fill them up. I opted to fill them out, put a stop to the decay, before it attacks my roots. It really hurt when he was drilling away the enamel of the wisdom teeth to make way for the filling. I fear that the decay maybe just the tip of the iceberg and in future I have to endure the pain of surgical removal. Imagine swollen cheeks, bleeding gums, fever after tooth extraction and numbing sensation that comes along with the non-stop drooling of salivia due to anathestic injected into the gums. No, I dun wan that. Brush teeth, floss teeth, and guggle more water after meals.
Second, my beloved ipod nano which was a precious gift given to me by my ex-cg members suddenly went dead on me. I was just connecting it to the computer and trying to synchronise the songs. Pressed eject and removed the usb cable and the ipod nano went DEAD. It refused to start up and I tried to remain as calm as I can. Dug out ipod nano leaflets and went to the website to search how I can claim warranty for my less than 1 year old nano. Luckily, I managed to REVIVE my precious by resetting it accordingly to the instructions given on the website. I thought I singlehandedly destroyed my ipod nano.
Today is just not my day. Boss offered me a ride home, but I was oredi out of sch, @ the mrt station when he msged me. No point hitching a ride when the mrt is right in front of me. I want to hitch a ride home! Travelling to and fro NTU and Lorong Ah Soo, IS TIRING.
I feel so crappy now. I remembered I went to Clarke Quay just today bcos I had to sign some papers with AHA. Then I was so frustrated that I went into the central atrium and bought myself some shoes from Charles & Keith. It's really crazy that I've succumbed to the guilty pleasures of retail therapy, even though I know that I wouldn't be satisfied or happy with whatever materialistic items obtained. I've been SO guilty of retail therapy lately, that I think I should go on a shopping fast for 1 month. Imagine the amount of money I could have saved up in my bank instead of shopping. I need to be more thrifty. Please ask the shop vendors to stop coming to NTU and sell their wares along the outside of the lecture theatres. I'm so tempted bcos I lack discipline when it comes to shopping.
Heck, I'm so crappy that I need to indulge in music and anime to soothe out the feeling of miserability. The rain man is here to stay in my heart. Nobody wants to share my umbrella. I'm not making any sense here unless you've heard Rihanna's song - Umbrella. The bible says "Be slow to anger and quick to forgive." I'm the reverse of what the bible preaches. I'm quick to anger when some idiot says offensive nonsense and I'm slow to forgive and react to sadness. It took the whole of yesterday night to let reality sink in and deal its final blow to me (xiang long shi ba zhang). Boss says, dun be sad, I wasn't sad at that moment, seriously. But i'm really frustrated now. Aiyah.. I should watch lovely complex again and get damn pissed at OTANI for being such a blockhead.
My first encounter with a dog was when I was still living in the old 3 room hbd flat, on children's day. My mum is a hairdresser and back then, the house was small, crowded and there were a lot of people coming in and out of the house to get their hair done. Being the primary 5 little girl, children's day was the day to slack at home (cos cannot go out ma). I was in the bedroom when my mum excitedly called out to me, "girl girl, come out..got dog"
I ran out of the bedroom and saw this dog with a coat of brown fur, standing right in front of our metal gate. It was practically gazing at us and seems to want to enter our house. I heard a lot of screams coming from the staircase "Doggie!! Where are u?" Must be the owners who went frantic when their doggie dashed out of the house.
For a moment, my mum and I didn't know what to do. Then the dog decided to squeeze through the gaps in the metal grilled gate and came inside our house. My guess was that the poor fellow lost its way home and probably thought my house was its house. My first reaction was pat pat and hello doggie. Gave the doggie a bowl of water to drink. I observed this doggie and I tot it looked a little ugly initially, cos I could see the eye whites when it turned its head sideways. It had a long tail which curled up across its back (quite nice tail) and the area around its neck was dyed pinkish, maybe due to the colour wearing off on its fur from the collar during bathing? and it was male.
Really very very cute and super smart and obedient. It was toilet trained and understood english commands. I used to slp on the mattress in my parent's bed room and poor doggie couldn't spend the night with me on my mattress so we let it hang ard in the living room and the toilet. When I entered the bedroom, I looked at doggie and I told it "NO no doggie, you cannot come in." and it just stood there at the door with one of its paw hanging in the air, as if hesistant to enter the room. It understood english.
When mum cooked dinner, it practically yelped and followed my mom who was carrying the dishes. Obviously, wanting to be fed, I gave it some dog food. But i think it prefers our human food. I dunno why, but I just adored this doggie, bcos it was practically following me wherever I went and being an only child back then, there was nobody to play with you, and when adults were around, I hid myself in my room and played with whatever was available to me by myself. The doggie gave me the attention that I wanted and I, in return adored it like mad. When I brought it down for walks, I didn't have a leash, so everytime we went down a flight of stairs, I would call out and say "doggie, wait!" and it really waited for me.
Super cute hor?
The playground and morning walks sort of made him damn excited. Ran ard happily and did its business. I guess somehow it knew that it wasn't allowed to pee or shit freely at home but it could do so freely when it was out of the house. Picked up after the dog shit. Sian. But cute. It's damn friendly, didn't even barked at my mum's customers at all, but it barked at the neighbours at 8am in the morning. Pounced unto the sofa and barked like nobody's biz. Probably it heard the neighbours talking at the doorway and just thought they were intruders?
My neighbours were malays and they didn't like the idea of sharing the same level with a family that keeps dogs. My mum runs a business at home and there was no way to keep this dog. The family which lost the dog, I dunno where they went to. I guess, my mum and I were a bit selfish as we didn't chase after that family who went frantic, shouting out for the dog that ran away. Well, we couldn't keep the dog in the house for long. The day when I had to bring doggie to the neighbourhood police post, I cried like mad when I was walking it there. I think doggie sensed that something was amiss and it kept looking back at me. The police officer asked "why dun you keep this lost dog? if not we gotta send it to SPCA." I just cried buckets after that.
Pomeranian Pup
SPCA meant that if nobody adopted this dog, it would be put to slp. Although the time that we spent together was short, it was fun to have a loyal companion with you 24/7. Well, I cried like mad for the whole day and wrote a letter to God, asking Him to bring my doggie back to me.
Well, God answered my prayer, but in a different way. Another neighbour on a different level adopted it from SPCA and one day he was walking the dog and I saw doggie with him. It was unmistakable, bcos of the pink coloured fur around it neck and those sideways eyewhites. The joy I had was unbelievable. I knelt infront of doggie and patted it. The first thing doggie did was to lick my face! I felt really happy bcos after 1 month of separation, this dog still recognised me and actually kissed me!! I didn't know much about dogs back then, but after many years later, I found out abt its breed and it's a pomeranian.
Pomeranians look a little foxy and have long fur coats with curled tails over the back. They have sharp pointed ears and are intelligent toy dogs.
Ltr on, as years passed by, I had other encounters with other dogs. 1 timid jack russel which was so scared of me initially, but eventually looked forward to seeing me when i had tuition. 1 shar pei which was independent and slpt alot when nobody played with it. 1 pomeranian which belonged to my cousin, super greedy when it comes to food, i think once i scolded it for something it didn't do and it actually teared. Felt so bad after my cousin pointed my mistake out to me and apologised and patted the dog afterwards.
Yeah, dogs have bad breath and they need more attention and training than cats. I guess the reason why I like dogs is because dogs look up to you, while cats look down on you. I haven't really had much personal encounters with cats other than touching their backs and scratching their chin and feeding them some food, so I'm not so sure how cats behave generally.
I remembered playing with a cat after tuition lessons and it sort of like to rub itself around your legs and then leave behind its cat fur on ur clothes. There are times when that cat didn't even bothered about me. So, i tot felines weren't as affectionate as dogs. Once, I played with my cousin's kitten and the way it scratched at the toy that was dangling in front of it, was quite scary, cos of the claws.
I guess I'm more inclined to adore dogs more than cats because of that one memorable experience as a child. I wouldn't mind keeping cats, as I've heard how clean and low maintenance cats are.
ODEX SHIT
Friday, August 10, 2007 ( 10:30 AM )
In response to XP's warning about O***, I did a thorough readup on O*** and the local community's response about O***'s method of deterence to prevent Singaporeans from downloading anime fansubs via bittorrent. HECK, no one knows what O*** is about and what they are trying to sell. How they obtained our personal information of ALL the things you downloaded remains a mystery to us. I wonder what our ISPs get in return for selling us out to O***. Yeah, they are just abiding the law, doing their part to protect the copyright law. てめ、ふざけんな!
In fact, I'm kinda pissed cos if they really send me a fucking legal letter about copyright infringement, then it means 'No more downloading of anime' cos I'm gonna get it big time from otousan & okaasan. Heck, even streaming animes from youtube or crunchyroll is an infringement of copyright. Watching anime is MY favourite past time and I swear to you, I will die if i dun watch anime. ひどい! ずるい!(transalation: they are meanies, it's unfair!)
Right, I've seen anime boxes for sale at the recent Popular Expo Bookfair sale (where I spent several hours reading a lot of books and scanning for toys for my tuition kid), but who would have known that O*** was selling them. If the quality of the said licensed anime sucks, who would buy them from O***? Anyway, let's read the splendid writeup about O*** from Dark Mirage. I rest my case for now.
nobu + nana AMV
Thursday, August 09, 2007 ( 12:34 PM )
As promised, here's Olivia's Winter Sleep (this song suits Nobu & Hachiko) and an MV specially made to remember the blossoming but unfortunate love between Hachiko and Nobu. In NANA, Hachiko is constantly plagued by love matters, her first boyfriend cheated on her and Hachiko caught them redhanded. Her second boyfriend, was a celebrity from Trapnest, Takumi. Initially everybody hated Takumi bcos he was known to be a womanizer and takes advantage of women's weaknesses. In fact, Nana blamed herself for introducing Takumi to Hachiko in the further episodes, her initial plan was to let Hachiko meet her idol, Takumi, after Nana and Ren got back together. But when Takumi started using Hachiko for his own pleasures and treated her hot and cold, Hachiko had already fallen in love with him (probably the reason why men use love to get sex, and women use sex to get love). It was really heartbreaking to see Hachiko trying to convince herself to love Takumi, even when she knew he wasn't a good guy.
Her third boyfriend, Nobu from Black Stones, was a guitarist who was Nana's comrade and they often hanged out together. Nobu loved her deeply and selflessly and she loved Nobu back alot, after realising Takumi wasn't the one whom she should love. By this time, everybody was really happy for Hachiko as we all thought she found true love. However, the happy times shared between them was shortlasting, when Hachiko realised she was pregnant and she didn't know who the father was. (that's why it's unsafe to condone pre-martial sex, hold onto ur virginities for God's sake) Things started to take a dramatic change after that, watch NANA to find out the ending for urself.
I feel a lot for the characters in NANA and somehow there were certain periods or characters whom I can relate to. I like the way the main characters analyse their own feelings and situations and the everso melodramtic progression of the plot. Gaining insight into the reflection of how people feel is liken to gaining trust from the other party, as they begin to show you their own weaknesses and problems. This is probably the reason why NANA is such a HUGE success. Think I should go and read the manga!!
HECK! I'm unable to upload Olivia's Winter Sleep due to some problems. BUT BUT BUT here's Anna Tsuchiya's Stand By Me!!
Anna Tsuchiya ROCKS too. Her voice is really unique (rapsy and raw) and brings out the mood of the song with such emotion, sadness and pain. Anna is really talented and I have nothing but praises for her, especially her rock balladries. If you heard of Kuroi Namida (Black Tears), that will be the best rock balladry that Anna Tsuchiya has ever sang. It's superb and draws you in with her anguish declarations of "I cry black tears! I have nothing!"
A brief check on her biography reveals that Anna Tsuchiya (土屋アンナ, Tsuchiya Anna, born March 11, 1984 in Tokyo, Japan) is a Japanese singer, songwriter, model, and actress. She was born to a Russian-American father and Japanese mother.
My god, she's just 1 year older than me, and she is already an accomplished rock queen in Japan. Wah. The disparity of success between her and me is atonishing. But such a comparison is uncalled for. haha. Jodan dayo~
Can't find any lyrics or translation for Stand By Me on the net. Dying to know what the song means (jap still not that good to fully grasp the entirety of the song). Meanwhile, enjoy the song while i try to upload winter slp!!!
This is one of the ending singles for the josei anime, NANA. The piano and guitar acoustics accompanied by the soft vocals creates a soothing, beautiful song. The lyrics speak for themselves, and I'm sure many can relate to them.
NANA is the BEST josei anime ever. I enjoyed every single moment of NANA, as the story unravels about the friendship between the 2 NANAs (one nana is full of childlike innocence, while the other nana is a self-confident punk vocalist) and their love lives and the top notch music used in the anime. This is one of the animes that I will give a huge THUMBS up for and recommend very strongly to those who love music (J alternate/rock) and enjoy animes that revolve around the theme of friendship and love. I remember there was a period when I actually had to stand by tissue papers while watching NANA when Hachiko's life was in a turmoil because of Nobu & Takumi. 47 episodes of laughter, joy, sorrow and tears shed while watching NANA was really worth it.
The songs of Olivia Lufkin and Anna Tsuchiya are used for the two rock stars within the anime. I personally prefer Anna Tsuchiya's voice as her voice is really unique but Olivia's songs are also quite nice. The songs from NANA best are constantly on repeat mode on my ipod. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to provide the download link for NANA best, so try to probe around the internet for bitorrent links. It's really fantastic! Watch NANA and listen to NANA best!!