Hey, exams are ending soon. REAL SOON. Freedom @ monday 3.30pm. I m so tired and brain dead from all the intensive mugging. I dunno if i will be able to score as well as expected. But, i am trying my best to understand stuff. I hope i can perform well tmr, cos it's a 100% weightage paper. No quiz to back up on. It's either Do or Die. God save me from failing and getting C. I want a B at least. PLSSS.

Anyway, i was bored so i went to ting's blog and played this stupid personality type test. I think i'm quite protective over my female friends, esp the younger ones or those who are closer to my heart. I'm can be quite emotional and ji tong if i want to. My friends concluded that I have inbuilt speech sarcasm abilities one day over lunch. Sometimes i say stuff without processing it, and it can turn out to be quite lame or silly or sarcastic even when i dun mean it. I dun think i'm strong or very opinionated. Most of the time, i'm quite influenced by the ideas that other people tell me. More of a follower than a leader. Born follower. period. But i can be quite obstinate and bo chap if i'm not interested to know. Get tricked easily cos i can be very trusting to friends around me. Heh. Why am i depichering my own character? Too bo liao maybe.

English Translations taken from http://www.geocities.co.jp/MusicStar-Piano/1957/lyrics/lovesong_t.html
Visit the website for more Luna Sea Translated Lyrics



I still can't believe
That I'm not all alone
I still doubt it...

I couldn't even see myselfjavascript:void(0)
Until I met you

I used to walk all by myself
And I didn't even see this blinding light before me
I was scared to hold you all in my arms

I miss you I can still see
I love you your eyes

I'm going to fight my way through
Life is all about fighting and hurting
...That's what I believed
until the day I met you
Even if we got hurt on the way,
our love was still strong
I want to keep on embracing
this dream that's not going to end just yet
But...

I miss you I know that someday
I love you your wound will heal

I love you so
Love Song Together
So I'm never going to let you go

I want to keep on believing
That I'm not all alone
Even if we can't be together like before

If you ever miss me,
Just gently hold this song to your heart...

I miss you We'll make this dream happen again
I love you ...someday

So I want to deliver this Love Song together with you
I wanted to be there by your side...
Yes, I still love you
Love Song Together
And No, I will never forget you

... and your love.


Love Together...

Luna Sea is one of the most successful japanese rock bands ever, but its a pity that they have disbanded several years ago. I still listen to their music ever now and then, but my collection is really limited, and i wldn't mind forking out a bit of money if i can get my hands on some of their fantastic albums. I think they used to be called lunacy, i know nil abt the band's history. I'm only enthralled by the music they produced.

I seldom get sick of their songs, and my favourite songs include gravity, I for You and Love Song. Gravity's bass guitar is really good, i will listen to the bass guitar part whenever this song plays on my computer. I for you and Love song have such wonderful lyrics that actually reduced me to tears when i saw the translated lyrics today. Its like a drama enfolding as the song is being sung by the lead singer who has a unique vocal loaded with loads of "pi ying". Can you imagine me sitting @ my desk, with tonnes of papers lying ard and sitting there with tears flowing down my cheeks, as i read the translations, and trying so hard not to make it obvious tt i'm crying, cos my roomie is in. Really, silly right?

Go visit this link if u are interested to see the translation.

"Nee, hontou wa dare mo, nee aisenai to iwarete"

The truth is, i was told "I can't love anybody anymore."

"yatto sono imi ni kizuite"

I finally understood/realised that meaning.

These two verses just hit me. It's like deja vu. Makes me think of somebody in particular but he dun matter to me anymore. It's almost like i heard the same thing b4, by some many other people including myself.

People who have been hurt and wounded by love, are often the people who have an idealistic expecation or naive view about love initally. Like, "if i love this person this much, the other person will love me that much too". Well, it depends on the person who you have fallen for, if he/she has no hidden agendas, then God bless you, ur eyes boh tah stamp.

Anyway, my point is all of us have a choice to remain positive or turn negative when negative/bad experiences happen to us. For some, they remain cheerful and believe that something better will come their way, and all is not lost. For some, they turn skeptical and critical easily and let their experience get the better of them. "all men are jerks" is one sentence said by many ladies, including myself. Sweeping statements said in a moment's anger just to satiate one's depression, fury and cynical opinions abt the opposite gender.

Some dun say biased and sweeping statements, but the change in them is much more lethal. They put on the hateful behaviour of those who hurt them initially and go ard hurting other pple, saying the same hurtful words that were being said to them. Do you realised that when you say "I can't love anymore", you are actually closing the door of your heart, putting a lock to ur emotion chamber and refusing to believe that there is actually someone out there who really accepts u for who u are, and just wants to love you the way you are. Or maybe u're lying ur way out, so you can reject the person nicely.

I think i understand why these people refuse to let other pple into their hearts, bcos there is always the possibility of getting hurt and the feeling of disappointment and sorrow when a beloved friend or person betrays them repetitively. Humanity is sinful by nature, the human soul is corrupted beyond imagination. At times of temptation or in a moment's spur, people err. sometimes the magnitude of that error is so huge, it's called a crime.

I've been told the exact same thing as what you are reading in the lyrics. I'm sad, sad not bcos i was rejected and maybe tricked. But i m sad bcos that person changed into such a person. He may not look like it on the surface, but if you probe deep enough and look longer, you actually realised that he was behaving the same way his ex-gf treated him in the ltr part of the r/s. You can label this behaviour as a fear of commitment, a fear that no love is perfect or compatible for him, a fear of getting hurt in the process of loving somebody else other than himself or just pure selfishness.

No, dun get me wrong, i m not interested in that person anymore. I'm just attracted by this song and its saddness that my old memories were suddenly recalled. It doesn't matter if two pple met, and the r/s didn't last long a lifetime. It doesn't matter cos this is our fate. Things happen, so you learn from every experience, and not shut down emotionally and hurt other pple in the process. It doesn't matter if you really loved the other party alot, cos that was oredi in the past, and the other party dun love you anymore and probably dun give a damn abt u now. Some exes probably sit there and wonder how much money he/she spent on you and hope they get their money back by aggressively pursuing you for their belongings and long-over dued debts. It doesn't matter if we exist just so that we will be sad, bcos this is part and parcel of life. There will always be happier things and important pple called friends who will always be there for you. It's just a different kind of love and different degree of commitment and understanding. I've always been told, "your eyes tah stamp ah". So dun make the same mistake as i did.

Have you ever had nights when you find urself mentally drained from a hard day's work and yet you toss and turn in bed for more than 1 hour, hoping tt you will go to zzz land in 5 mins.

Man, today is one of those days for me. I dunno what to say. Nights when i have insomnia are the nights when my roomie return late (3-4am) or dun return at all. Odd right, she's not even my best friend, and i'm so concerned. I'm not sure either. It is just that i wanna slp in peace knowing tt she has returned and i wldn't be disturbed by her in the wee hours of the morning when light from the corridor shines into the room cos its too bright to switch on the light, so she opens the door. Well, i dunno, maybe i have turned into a light sleeper in these recent months. I can't slp well with noise and light. Well, i figured it cld probably be the acne medication tt's causing insomnia for me, but i only eat it like twice a week. It's weird right?

I seek rest, but it eludes me. Shucks, God give me my slp. If i dun slp, i will fall sick. If i fall sick, tt's it. How to study well for exams which is less than 2 weeks time? I wanna go home oredi. This is mad. I went home last friday and came back today. I'm missing mummy and daddy oredi. I miss the pillows and bed @ home real bad, tt i even brought in 1 pillowcase from home to hug. I miss my room. I miss slping @ home. Home is like a place to relax, tt's why studying @ home isn't that productive.

I'm so sad tt i wanna cry now. I think i shld go cry and cry real bad then i will fall aslp real fast. I can't believe i'm still awake @ 5am, complaining here and trying to read heat transfer notes at the same time. I really dunno what to do, i wish i was a baby who dun even have any concerns abt the everyday life.

Just last thursday, i had another bout of insomnia. I dreamt i was doing force analysis for the virtual moments and real moments for mp3002. I cldn't stop my brain from finding virtual moments. It's like there is a online lecture going on inside my brain and i'm presented with a complex structure that makes me wanna resolve all the moments. That was really a nightmare. I cldn't slp. I walked abt in the room, went to the toilet several times, read max lucado's travelling light for 2 hours before i dozed off in about 15mins. Then i had a dream of carrying a big fat baby and bringing her to somewhere and i was damn happy inside the dream and yes, i slpt @ 5am then, and decided i had to go home the next day.

GUESS what, when i reached home the next day, i saw the baby girl at my house! She is my mum's customer's baby girl. It was such a coincidence that I saw her the next day after dreaming about carrying her. I was so happy tt i just played with her for two hours straight. She ain't a baby/toddler compared to the last time i saw her, she is now 28 months old. She looks just exactly like her mother and she talks in such a cute and soft voice that it is irresistable to not want to play with her. She has alot of picture books, and she wld read the title of the books out and when i try to read the rest of the stories, she say, "no more, nothing to see" and try to close the books. Her favourite VCD is her dad's annual dinner and dance vcd. When prompted by my dad, "why do you like this VCD?"

She said, "Got tong tong qiang, lion dance jump very high!" DAMN cute, i tell you.

I think she talks a little like lucinda, just tt her voice is softer and pronounciation not tt clear yet. Damn cute right? imgaine lucinda talking when she was younger, i think i will jus pinch her loh. Lucinda you are so cute, not ugly but very adorable.

HMM! 28/3/07 marks yet another release of m-flo loves album! COSMICOLOR! I was trying to write a post for COSMICOLOR and the accidentally pressed something and the entire post was gone, right before my eyes.




m-flo + Monkey Majik









m-flo loves Doping Panda - She loves the Cream

Otters Holding Hands!!

Kawaii~~~~~ I gushed and said "Kawaii" several times. Even animals hold hands, when they are just floating adrift on the water. It's like so romantic!! This video makes me wanna hold hands with somebody. But dun have tt somebody in my life right now..hahaha..aww..nvm...It's really adorable and this probably means that the world still has some glimpse of sweetness and hope in it.