2pm
since 14th July 2008
shot gun marriage
Wednesday, September 12, 2007 ( 12:27 AM )
Hi guys,
I've been really busy these few weeks, trying to catch up with my studies and managing 2 projects at the same time. I wld say this is one of the most info and time intensive sem ever, even worse than year 3. I'm really stretched and I can see the stress building up as more pimples start to appear on my face. Thank God I'm going to see the doctor soon, and I have no acne-woe days in months/years to come.
Well, I dun really have much to blog lately, and I'm certainly not in the right frame of mind to say funny, stupid jokes. One of my friends is getting married, and I was super shocked when I heard of the news, cos he's just 24 years old, a young chap who is working with SAF. It is a shot-gun marriage, his beautiful girlfriend (my age) of a few months is pregnant with his child.
Seriously, I have no right to comment abt his marriage, and I wish them happiness. Ya lah, it's the twentith century, why still so uptight abt stuff lidat?
I just thought that if I were to put myself in his girlfriend's shoes, I'll probably just cry and pull my hair out, bcos I dun wan to be a mother when I'm not emotionally or financially ready to start a family. I still remember telling my prof a few weeks ago that I dun see myself staying at home and becoming a housewife, spanking backsides and screaming at the little demons at home in the near future. I wld rather be a workaholic than be a stay-at-home parent. It's really scary to know that a woman loses the calcium in her bones to her babies, and become very vulnerable to osteoporosis from her thirties onwards.
I'll be torn apart between abortion and marriage or being a single parent. I'll definitely not head for abortion, bcos it means that I'm killing my own child and I dun wan to be bound by the guilt and regret in time to come. Marriage will definitely be the best option for the time being, but what would my relatives say about me? I think my reputation will go down the drain and I'll become the black sheep of my family, while others whisper behind my back and I live in shame for the rest of my life. What if the man I'm married to, no longer behaves the same way as he used to treat me before marriage and suddenly we can no longer find any common ground to substain the marriage? I think being a single parent isn't easy either. Without the help of my husband's salary/savings, I'll have to work my ass off to make ends meet. I wldn't be there for my kid who will be taken care by my parents or foster care, as I'm working. What if my kid turns rebellious and grows up to hate me for not giving him/her enough attention and for not giving him a dad?
Alright, I'm just entertaining some very negative thoughts down here, and I shldn't be so paranoid esp when I'm not the one who is in this situation. I just think that we are responsbile for our own actions, and sometimes people get so caught up in the moment, that they ignore the severe repercussions of their own actions.
Even for my guy friend, I feel that he is not ready to be a father and I dun think he is financially abled to raise a kid and a wife, when he doesn't bother to bring $ back home to his parents. He may feel very pressured and restrained by his wife and family members to be a dad when all his peers around him are all so carefree and enjoying life, doing wadever they want to, without having any second thoughts. Well, looking on the bright side of it, marrying and giving birth at a younger age means you can enjoy life much faster when your kids grow up and they cldn't be bothered with you lavishing attention on them.
My train of thought is really jumbled up right now. But I really despise men who refuse to be responsible for their own actions, and ask their pregnant girlfriends to abort their own child, just so that the child wldn't change their lives 360 degrees and make things difficult for themselves. If these guys didn't want to be responsible, then in the first place, they shld have used protective measures. I wld refrain from making sweeping statements about the opposite gender but it doesn't mean I advocate pre-martial sex. Just stating my opinions and feelings for my own reflections.