welcome

It keeps coming back to me
I remember this pain
It spreads across my eyes
Everything is dull

Everyone's smiling, they're smiling
It pushes me far far away
I can't understand
Everything is blue

Can you hear me out there?

Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
I'm gazing from the distance and
I feel everything pass through me
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
I'm lost in a deep winter sleep
I can't seem to find my way out alone
Can you wake me

I know when I let it in
It hides love from this moment
So I guard it close
I watch the moves it makes

But it gets me, but it gets me
I wish I could understand how I
Could make it disappear, make it disappear

Anyone out there hear me now?

Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
Kiss my lips
and maybe you can take me to your world for now
I can't be alone right now
Will you hold me now Hold me now My frozen heart
Please make it all go away
Am I ever gonna feel myself again?
I hope I will

OLIVIA inspi' REIRA (Trapnest)
WINTER SLEEP



2pm
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since 14th July 2008


Madness
Wednesday, June 27, 2007 ( 1:02 AM )

Well well well, it has been a busy week for me. Discussing about subject registrations with would-be-groupmates and getting the right timing is really hard. Tried so hard to rope Kaymong in, but our timetable just clashed like nobody's business.

Woah, I realised i haven't bathed yet, yucks! Rushed back home in boss's 4 wheeled machine from Programmers meeting and immediately switched on the computer to discuss about subject registration stuff. GROSS. きもち悪い!

Lately i have been talking a lot, esp after i took on the tuition job. My kid is alright, just that today he started singing songs and becoming very fidgety and giving me wrong answers to my questions. Hai yo, this boy is already considered a good kid. I had my fair share of horror tuition kids. I think i was Sec 1 and man, my mum's customer tried to con me and my friend into teaching her kids english and maths during our holidays. I mean, i didn't mind esp when i would be paid. But, thinking back, i think was dumb enough to accept her offer of $5 per hour. SHITTY PAY!

The kids were horrendous. 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl. The girl was alright, but the little brother was my biggest headache. He and his brother ganged up together and called me "HYENA" maybe lion king was popular back then, and i was the "bad" guy. I think they jus didn't show me the respect i wanted, and maybe it was bcos i was only sec 1 and they were just probably a few years younger than me and just hated tuitions to the core. Whenever i tried to teach the little brother something, he would not cooperate and give me some rubbish and rude answers. NVM, when he got sick and tired of doing his work, he would run into his bedroom and slp. I had to literally get his mother to drag him out of his room and he wouldn't sit down. He just ran around like some mad fella and got lotsa caning and scolding from his mother. I surrendered after a few lessons. Couldn't stand it.

I probably had tuition kid phobia until i finally faced my fears of teaching tuition bcos i was in desperate need of getting a job. I hope my current tuition kid will not make me feel so angry that i dun wan to teach him.

Oh yah, went to check out kian's band at Ai Qing Hai on monday. Kudos to the pianoist and kian, i think the songs they practised really sound great! Good job! Thanks to Pern Ren for the Levi T-shirt, i can wear it, the size is alright just a little too long. haha.

Ubin Part 2
Monday, June 18, 2007 ( 5:46 PM )

Another episode on Pulau Ubin.

Somebody taking a pic of me taking a pic of the sea.


Guiness World Record: Smallest Durian EVER
(Compared to Kok Soon's head)
No, the photo has nv been photoshoped!


Man Made Scarecrow at Secret Garden
It looked so "scary" that only kian posed beside it.

Gates of Hell still Prevails.
Nah, it is probably a barrier to prevent illegal transportation of immigrants into ubin.
i dunno, jus guessing.


Scenic View of the beach.

Dunno why this picture so dark.
Must be the photographer dunno how to take pictures.

Near the Quarry.

Mr Camera man, Not ready yet.
That's much better, but very dark ah~


JGS
( 5:16 PM )

I had my first ghostly encounter just this month. I dunno if you even consider it ghostly. But, my hairs stood on its ends when i realised something wasn't quite right.

As you all know, I have a cca and its Regular Service Project for Intellectually Disabled (RSPID). It's such a mouthful that it becomes a hassle to say the full name of my cca, so it was affectionately named RSPID. Anyway, I was at this particular school where our sessions were conducted weekly for the ID trainees. Nothing was amiss, even though i dislike using the toilets at that school cos it is old, small and dirty. For 3 straight years in that school, I have heard of some ghost stories at that school. But i just shook it off as myths or stories made up by other volunteers or students to scare people off. My boss even told one story about him going to the store room and hearing voices talking while he was in the midst of packing up the stuff, all alone in the dark. Anyway, that was fake and was meant to scare off some of the girls.

We always have dinner after the session, and we will all hitch a car ride back home from those who drove to the school. This particular night, which was a few weeks ago, we went back to the school to get the cars as usual, and i was feeling really urgent bcos i drank too much water. I needed to use the ladies urgently, but the lights to the toilets were spoiled. I was feeling really jialat and i asked ard if anybody else wanted to use the toilet. I suggested using our handphone to light up the way inside the toilet. So me and another female volunteer went in. It was pitch dark, i gathered all my courage and went inside the toilet. My friend and I went inside two cubicles next to each other nearest to the door and we just did wadever we had to do.

Just barely seconds after we entered our cubicles, I heard this female ghostly sound "woo~woo~", the typical sound made by other pple to scare each other. I was like, "Aiyo, Sherlyn, pls dun try to be funny, its dark in here." She replied, but i couldn't make out much from her muffled speech. I didn't give much thought and then we remained silent for quite a while. Suddenly, there was the sound of an old man coughing outside the toilet. I was like, "Sherlyn, did you hear that?" She said, yeah. I hurriedly finished my business and went out of the cubicle and waited for my friend to come out. Later, we went outside and into the light to wash our hands, relieved off the growing fear inside of me while i was inside the toilet.

When we came out, Sherlyn asked me if i was the one making the "woo~woo~" sound, I was shocked. Wasn't it Sherlyn who made that eerie ghostly sound effect? Then i asked her whether she heard the man coughing sound and she said yes. I felt goosebumps on my arms. Even if we dismissed the sound of the man coughing, by saying, is done by some male volunteer who coughed while passing by the toilet, how do we explain the "woo~woo~" sound effect, when it wasn't done by sherlyn or me?

Woo~Woo~, it wasn't me.

Jobs
Friday, June 15, 2007 ( 3:18 PM )

Yoz, Life is good!

Exams for my Human Language Puzzle went smoothly, even though there were a few questions which i didn't know how to answer, hopefully the mcq section and the short answered section and the quizzes will pull my marks up. Haven't been slping early lately, so i felt feverish yst. So i have decided that i should rest real early from today onwards.

I found two jobs. One is a long term job, as a tutor. My tuition kid was recommended to me by Lyndon, whose friend had to give up some kids as he has oredi gotten a full time job. I heard this boy is a very good and smart little boy. I hope that teaching this boy will be fun and enjoyable. The second job is a banquet waitress at meritus mandarin. Was recommended by my mum's friend. I guess i will just do it. Train my Lin Chang Fan Ying and my arm muscles. I'll be awaiting a third job, which is to be a camp instructor. I'm very keen on this job, bcos it is fun and definitely not like admin jobs, after lunch sit at table and stone and zzz. Will get fat one loh..eeee...I will have an interview, and I hope to get thru this interview. More jobs = more money. I'm damn broke now. sniff sniff, can you hear the cry of my pocket? "Fill me, fill me!!" Thanks to eugene for the surprise dinner treat after the banquet job interview, save the hole from my pocket from becoming bigger.

results
Tuesday, June 12, 2007 ( 12:12 AM )

Results have been out at 12 midnight on 8th June 2007. I totally forgot about the release of the results. I was lying on my bed, plugged into my ipod, being the usual audiophile while studying for my special sem PE module, Human Language Puzzle aka Lang Hu as indicated in our timetable.

Lemme deviate away from my main topic for a little while. Weilin always manage to make everybody confused when they probe us about the PE that we are taking, Lang Hu was the reply and the look on their faces are just so amazing. Anyway, I have been listening to my ipod all these while when studying, sometimes my mum just gives me a fright, cos i can't hear her, and she will knock on the door angrily or just appear right in front of me to talk to me. I can't study without music, esp lately when my neighbours are having a complete renovation of their apartment. Dun wanna fight with the noise pollution, so the best solution is Sony NOISE reduction earphones which i doubled up as ear plugs during acid camp to block cooing, crying and babbling noises made by the trainees at night. =) Smart right?

Ok, i went off the tangent, but i'm back. Results are out! I was reminded to check my results when one ID fellow msged me to say he cleared everything! Freaked me out, cos i was studying for my PE, and suddenly I also wanted to know my results. I quickly switched on my computer, logged into studentlink and msn. The very minute i went online, I was flooded with messages of "how did you do for exams?". Man, i had trouble logging into the degree audit and results webby, cos the network was jammed with frantic people trying to access their results at the same time. I waited for half an hour, with my heart in my mouth, before i finally saw my results on degree audit. If my heart could pop out from my body, I would say it popped out several times when the webby kept showing me Error 404. I cleared everything, but didn't reach my goal of scoring an 'A' for my main modules as usual. At least, there aren't any 'C' or 'D'. Well, i guess i will have to be the best B student i can be, cos it seems that A is really out of my league. Now, i have to crack my head to get a FYP that i think i can handle.

Random Pics

Star light, Star bright.

Massive xmas celebration @ chc expo in 2006.


Things that you dun wan poking out of your sleeve.

this picture makes me feel itchy, with all the branches pricking out lidat.

Two little bear bears happily married together forever.

IA colleague's wedding gift. (Its still in my cupboard!)

Was given these by somebody. Interesting taglines.

Gave them to my maid to eat. Thinks she like chocolates.

Wish I could lay my hands on these again and give to my lover, Shi yin.


character?
Thursday, June 07, 2007 ( 2:41 PM )

I was bored, so I went to ting's blog to see her old posts and found this. dunno how true this is. Well, humans are complicated beings and shouldn't be that easy to discern or dissect by asking just them several dozen questions about their previous experiences.

Well, anyway, I was quite surprised to see this analysis, made me ponder about how much I have changed. My personal opinion of this test is that, its not a totally accurate test. I wonder how differently will I answer the questions if I were attached to somebody whom I believe will have a good future with me.

I dun see myself as somebody who has more dominance in a r/s, but somebody who likes a change of environment every now and then when out on dates. In fact, I dun have a lot of say when it comes to quarrels, i was the one who apologized most of the time if there was any disagreement.

If you have been attached to a person whom (you think) will not have a happy future with you (bcos of difference in religion opinions, parental objections, clash in personality etc), wouldn't you want to break free from the r/s, even though you love the person deeply? Is this the time to discuss about how idiotically faithful you are to him even if it means burning family ties with your own family whom you love so much?

Does it mean that if you have a lot of experience in dating or have more than 2/3 boyfriends or girlfriends in the past, you will automatically know what true love is when it comes? Some people just keep falling for the wrong type of man (the abusive type, the full-of-sweet-talk but no sincerity type etc) until they really learn their lesson. Just following your gut feeling, will not always lead you to "the one".

cynical, oh yes, i'm cynical. I wonder why they put my cynicism to such a low level. It is so underrated.

Independence, come to think of it. I have been so busy with studies, cca and projects that I hardly have time to think about dating. I've been self-sufficient for one entire year and i'm pretty happy with my current lifestyle, although sometimes i may feel a little ke xi about past r/s.

Okie, exams coming. Back to the books! Jiayou for everybody who is taking intersem modules!
Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is medium.
In general, you prefer to have only one love interest.
But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long!
There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is high.
You've loved, lost, and loved again.
You have had a wide range of love experiences.
And when the real thing comes along, you know it!

Dominance:

Your dominance is medium.
You tend to be the one with more power.
You aren't a total control freak in relationships..
But of course you don't mind getting your way!

Cynicism:

Your cynicism is medium.
You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love...
But you've definitely been burned enough to know better.
You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist.

Independence:

Your independence is high.
You don't need to be in love, and sometimes you don't even want love.
Having your own life is very important for you...
Even more important than having a relationship.
The Five Variable Love Test

Pulau Ubin
Monday, June 04, 2007 ( 1:55 PM )

Hmm..its been a long time since Lidia had an outdoor outing. Guess where i went last friday? Pulau Ubin!! Went with Kian, Yuchao, Kok Sun and Kian's friend, geraldine. HAHA. Its my 2nd time to Pulau Ubin and i must say, Pulau Ubin has more newly constructed facilities now, which is more convenient for people who likes to go to toilet and wash up.


We rented bicycles for the whole day for $10 per bike, dunno if it was expensive or not, cos we didn't bother to ask the rates from othe bic rentals. After searching for the bicycle that we were comfortable with, me and geraldine went to apply sunblock to avoid getting sunburn cos we are fairskinned ladies.

Our cycling adventure started and i would say it was really an enjoyable but tiring ride around ubin. While we were cycling along the concrete path, my cap nearly flew off my head, and i sort of swerved here and there and anyhow grab the left and right brakes, in front of a group of people. SO PAI SEI, the leader of that group even called out to me and told me which brakes to use. HAHA. But who cares lah.

Anyway we saw alot of dogs and cats on the island and we sighted rambutan, love peas and durian trees. We cycled to one part of the island where there was a beach and we were happily taking pictures when it began to rain. Luckily for us, there was a shelter at the beach and we seeked refuge under the shelter from the rain and lighting and thunder. Since we were stranded at the shelter, we killed time by chatting and playing Tai Di. I hardly know the rules to Tai Di and just whack lah. Anyway throw cards out. When the rain stopped, we set off to explore the other parts of Ubin, but i guess the rain didn't totally stop, so we ended up cycling under the slight drizzle, luckily i got my cap on, so i was sheltered from rain drops entering my eyes.


I hardly cycle nowadays and i have not cycled on unconcrete grounds for a very long time. Going back to Ubin for nature cycles was really an eye opener for a city dweller like me. Getting bitten by mosquitoes and scratching my legs like mad were the downside of the experience. I saw alot of attic house, very rural and very simple, along the way. I recalled being really tired bcos of all the upslopes that we had to cycle against. Switching to gear 1 also never really helped, my legs just dun have the strength to cycle upslope, during the last half of the cycling trip.


We cycled all the way until 3pm and it was amazing that we didn't feel famish until i started feeling weak bcos of lack of strength. Then we had lunch at one of the seafood restaurants there. Then we continued cycling and went to the Secret Garden of Pulau Ubin whereby we saw more different plants and scarecrows made up of tin cans.


Pictures by the Jetty at Pulau Ubin


My Inspiration came when we were waiting for a ferry to bring us back to Changi. Otherwise i wouldn't even bother to snap pictures using this lousy L7 camera.











Our Beautiful Feet + Shoes

Me and Geraldine wore open toed sandals and slippers, while the guys wore covered shoes. Weeven went into a discussion on why we should wear covered shoes during outdoor cycling. I definitely agree that covered shoes protect your feet from any protruding objects on the ground. The reason why i wore slippers was because it was easy to wash the dirt from my feet after the entire event.




Artistic view of beautiful people and doggie.